This time in quarantine can be a huge challenge for those of us with people-pleasing tendencies. Being a people-pleaser often yields wonderful short term results — people like you, you’re helpful and competent, and you tend to genuinely like others. These byproducts are great until you start to feel the burnout from constantly trying to please everyone around you.
It’s not sustainable to be a people-pleaser long term.
If you’re a people pleaser, you must learn to be mindful of the energy you’re giving away. Be careful not to overextend yourself and continue to prioritize yourself in your routine.
Now that many of us are living, working, and balancing families, relationships, and independence all in the same space — boundaries are more important than ever.
With work, family, relationships, and home-life all running together in the same space, people-pleasers are being pulled in a million different directions. Whether it’s feeling obligated to be “on-call” all-day for work or constantly catering to your family -- it can be extremely draining.
Implementing boundaries can keep us from giving away all of our energy and allows us to be intentional with where we put it. The goal isn’t to stop helping everyone, it is to make sure you’re giving yourself space to recharge.
Remember — you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Ask for Feedback
When too many opportunities to people-please present themselves, many of us often start to fall into the “I’m-never-doing-enough” mindset. Sound familiar?
It’s the idea that if we can’t help everyone, then we are helping no one.
This is a dangerous line to cross and can lead to even more overextension. A simple fix is to check-in with the people in your life — family, coworkers, partners — and ask them for feedback.
If you’re a people-pleaser, chances are you’re doing more than enough to help the people around you.
This validation can really help you gain better perspective and release any guilt or shame that accompanies people-pleasing. It will also weed out the people who don’t appreciate you and your helpfulness.
Be Kind to Yourself
Lastly, remember to be kind to yourself. Remember to do whatever it is you need to do to recharge.
Remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you’re a people-pleaser, it’s probably because you care deeply about others. It’s time to also prioritize self-compassion and self-love.